Good Mothers Don't Do Such Thing?

I was watching Oprah today, tribute on mother's day, how this mother named Brenda left her 2 year-old daughter at the back seat of her MPV for 8  hours and eventually killed her as she suffered from heat stroke, her skin was peeling and her mouth had produced white foam.  How could a mother forget her own child?  Does that make her a bad mother?  Are we the best judge to say that she is incapable of taking good care of her kids?  Apparently not, turned out she is such a loving and a caring mom who was just unlucky that this mishap could happen to her.

Brenda a career woman who leads such a hectic life, on top of her demanding job, she goes home to attend to her 2 small kids, cooks and cleans the house.  That day, there was a slight change to her routine.  Usually it was the husband's job to send the kids to the sitter, however, on that tragic day he had a dental appointment that morning so the duty was shifted to Brenda.  The child was still asleep when she picked her up and put her into the backseat of her car.  As it was way too early to send the child to the sitter, she decided to get some stuff as  she normally did, she reached her workplace, began unloading her stuff and as she held a very demanding job she had totally forgotten the baby who was still asleep, left in the car.  She felt something was amiss but couldn't put what into it until it was almost 4 pm when everybody was about to go home when a friend suddenly came running to her saying that she has left her baby in a car.  She knew then it was too late.  She was traumatized by the whole incident, all the time blaming herself and it didn't help either when society started pointing to her and call her a bad mother.  She then lead a solitary life for a year before she finally agreed to be interviewed by Oprah on what had actually happened on that day.  In her interview with Oprah, what caught my attention was when she said 'good mothers don't do such thing'.

This incident could happen to anybody, am guilty of that too.  Mondays are usually my busiest day,  I usually get home at 5.30 pm after my orchestra practices.  There was this one Monday early this year, I had to attend to so many things, can't remember what they were.  I remember that day being unfocus as my mind wondered to too many things that required my attention.  At that period, Hilman has to undergo a few sessions of therapy on a daily basis.  As the centre closed at 6.30 pm, I rushed to get home to pick up Hilman and my mother.  Parking in that area was horrendous, after making a few rounds I told my mom to get down first.  I think after almost 15 minutes, I found a spot which was about 100 metres away from the centre.  I quickly went down, ran to the centre to secure my son a place when my mother asked me where Hilman is.  I could feel my blood draining as I have totally forgotten about Hilman left on the backseat of my car.  I ran back to the car and I could see him sweating and crying at the top of his lungs. I quickly grabbed him into my arms, showering him with kisses and whispering sweet nothings to his ear.  I was so thankful that he was alright.  But I felt really bad.  I was a bad mother who have failed to protect and to care for my kid.  And when I got back to the centre, I could see people shaking their heads, 'tsk'ing me and went 'how could she forget her own baby?'.  The feeling was awful as I could not defend myself as I was truly guilty.

So when I was watching Oprah this afternoon, I could relate to Brenda, and I believe I am not alone, I bet there are other mothers out there too who have experience quite similar situation too, like forgetting to pick up their kids from school, tuition or the child suddenly went out of our sight.  I am not justifying myself, what I did was definitely wrong and intolerable but actually there are many factors contribute a mother to such act.

Being a mother is one tough job, as she has to oversee to almost everything, people expect a mother not to lack in her job, there is no room for mistake, though many of us try to achieve to be the perfect mother, at the end of the day there is no such thing as a perfect mother.

So to all mothers out there, I advise you, maybe to slow down a little, take time to breathe and we can only achieve certain things at a certain time, we make mistakes, the most important thing is to pick up the pieces and learn from the mistakes we made.  After all we are all human, we are bound to make mistakes.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!