Monday, March 15, 2010

Alamak! How should I React to This?

You know when people commented "Waaa..you have 3 girls ah? Pening ah nanti."  I didn't actually comprehend what they are trying to say.  To me nurturing children is one tough and challenging task and I do not think having different genders children would make much of a difference.

And I always hate it those people who read about social ills in the newspaper or listen to the immoral acts of todays teenagers and went 'Nasib baik aku takde anak perempuan'.  What is that supposed to mean? What are you trying to say here? That all the things happening are all women's fault because it is visible to us and it is ok for men to have such bad behaviour because the parents tak payah tanggung malu sebab orang tak nampak if the child ter'pregnant'.

  What I want to stress here is please do not make such gender bias kind of comment, it is the man who is supposed to protect us the woman who apparently by nature dijadikan sebagai kaum yang lemah and not to take advantage of us.  We are born with 9 nafsu and 1 akal whereas the men have 1 nafsu and  9 akal and kalau ikut maths pun 9 is such a big number and logically is able to kawal the 1 nafsu tu betul tak? I think it is just  simple maths. Budak darjah 1 pun boleh identify that 9 is a lot lot more than 1.

So basically what I want to say here is that because we are so used to hear such comment, I believe it makes the men to become less and less responsible because society is condemning only the girls and not the boys.  How is that fair? What we should say is, we all should take care of our kids and make sure this thing does not happen to us and not put all the blame only to one gender- the girls.

Alright actually what I want to write is not about the issue above but how my 10 year old daughter has been getting attention from the other species and I am not sure how I should I deal with it.  You know when our kids were young we beamed when people praised them but now that she has slightly grown up and starts to develop some curves, I no longer appreciate the praise that she gets from the male species, grown men.  The other day, when we were in pasar malam I told her to get the 'keropok lekor' while I buy the veggies at the next stall. The guy manning the stall started to strike a conversation with her, making jokes and whatnot and I got worried and that was not the first time it happened, there was one time that a guy selling burgers was busy asking her name and phone number, luckily she was smart enough not to 'layan' these people.  These people could be harmless but it sure got me worried.  Am I overreact?  It is difficult now to get her to help buying things because she will bring this kind of distraction and I definitely do not welcome it.

Not only that, the other day, I happened to read her messages in her inbox.  I wasn't snooping it's just that she told me to help with her FV.  This boy confessed his love to my girl 'Aina please love me'.  I got the shocked of my life, I asked her and she went 'I hate it Ibu, please delete the message.'  The next day he wrote 'why are you not responding to me, is it because you love someone else?' and she went 'Issh Ibu gila ke apa budak ni?' She told me to delete the message but not until I replied to the message 'I am still young to think about love, can we be friends instead?' just because I was told he is such nice and a polite boy by her friends.  He's not bad-looking too as he comes from a mix parentage, the mom is a 'minah salleh' ok, actually he's a hunk.

So yesterday when she was in the car with me, I asked about the boys in her school and she went 'semua kawan jelah Ibu and I'm not sure kenapa that boy tulis macam tu because I have never talked to him, he was my classmates last year tapi tak pernah cakap pun but the girls adalah usik cakap S is in love with me.'  And I asked 'Dia pandai tak?' and she went "pandailah jugak, he is in the second class, I'm in third class' and I went 'he is good looking and clever, oklah tu Aina' and she went 'Apalah Ibu ni, Aina taknaklah, mengarutlah Ibu'.  Ahh...what a relief! to hear her answered like that as I am not sure how am I supposed to react to that if she too develops the same feeling for that boy?

Oh Aina you still my baby, my little girl tau, don't think about boys yet until you are 25 ok?

8 comments:

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Oh no Kak Puteri.. Aina is Umar's age and Umar is still a baby !!!

I can't imagine him writing a love letter to a girl !!! So yes u r right ! Ur little girl is still a baby !!

I turut tension kak Puteri !!!

Btw.... my ex-colleague pernah cakap nasib baik I takde anak lelaki... budak lelaki ni teruk.. susah nak jaga... Ada ke ? Cakap kat I pulak tu. Ntah apa2 kan orang mcm ni ?

Puteri's territory said...

omigod! there are still babies kan Myra? I'm not ready to deal with thislah Myra..help!!!

Oh yes pls janganlah bagi komen2 gender bias ni, i tak suka betul. I guess because I have 3 girls so they all went susah ye ada nak perempuan ramai. isshh...meluat betul.

Lizamurni Lokman said...

i really hate it when people go gender bias like that....apa,, ingat boleh pilih-pilih ker nak anak gender apa? ntah apa2 kan?

anyway, to me, be it boys or girls, they are who they are....it's unfair to judge them by their gender just because of what's been happening to the world lately!!! it's crazy and scary out there but we have to do our best to protect our children and pray hard that everything will be just fine....

puteq, abt aina being hassled by men or boys, it's ok, it's just a phase that she has to go through in life...kita just kena ingatkan dia selalu and pray for the best...

Puteri's territory said...

Kan Dikny? I so agree with u. Mcm boleh pilih2 kita nak anak apa. You know ada a friend of mine, she has 4 boys and people commented "wow terrorlah u" and ada this lady she has 5 girls and they went "Aiyo 5 girls, ish ish ish" ada ka patut?

Pasal Aina tu, it happened too soon for melah Dikny...If she's twelve and above, I think am ready but now too young, perangai pun cam budak2 sangat, melompat2, merajuk, nangis kekadang kalah adik2 dia. I know it's a phase, sigh! Will I be ready to face all that?

Yes, we pray for the best for our kids, it's definitely scary out there.

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Kak Puteri.... luckily anak u tak miang ok.... kalau dak dia mesti layan je kan so u can still relax a bit lah...

Nak tolong den pun tak tahu macamana !! I was hoping u can help me bila it is my turn ha ha

Nic said...

It doesn't help that Aina is gorgeous! Hehe. But still, yes, it is wayy too early and I cringe thinking when the time comes for Sufya .. sigh

Choose the best course of action and always remember, there is nothing stronger than a doa..

And then when my time comes, I'll just consult you! Hehe!

KG said...

Puteri,

take it one day at a time and believe me you can learn from no books but your hunches on how to deal wt them...you are a great mom, i can see that!

Puteri's territory said...

CPK and Ila,

Consulting me? Alamak!!! Not the best teacherlah.

Ila thanks for the compliment but what is important keindahan budi bahasa and keimanan, yang tu paling susah nak didik.

Kak Yani,
thanks for dropping by and thanks for the compliment.

So glad that I now I can always consult you in upbringing of the kids.