Unfinished Groin and Other Gems..

I got this from kamabakar.blogspot.com.  Hilarious!

Go on, raise a ruckus. Please, we beg you. After all, the operators are already standing by...

We forgive you, now that we know you were born yellow-bellied ....

.. specially made for those whose mind is hopelessly lost in the gutter...

One iced latte please, and be generous with the WtFs and MoFos, if you don't mind.. 

Wonder what the poor vegetarian did to deserve this...

Oh, this is so anal. For the best aroma, try Animal Colon (air freshener); it stinks fast and good! (I hear KittyPoo brand is just as effective....)

For pete's sake don't rush the fall; take your time, plunge gently..

Yo, fire fiend! Try Housekeeping; it's pyro heaven in there, what with all those beddings..

Anyone for hamster & apple curry? Says here the curry's cute; don't know if the hamster's still cheerful, though..

Uh uh, Clotty Pussi. Sounds all clogged up. And painful to boot. This definitely calls for My Fannie toilet paper.. 

Don't be too surprised if their other store is called Bullshit. Perhaps they specialise in Dungarees?

Don't burn Fire Chief san; he's flame-resistant. Torch the mayor instead; word has it he's not eco-friendly..

Your groin's unfinished and you still have 'activities' down there..? Fuuuhh.. Cayalah!

Sunday Funnies ..

Sunday Funnies .. 

Look what I found while blogwalking, I got this from kamabakar.blogspot.com.

This is so reassuring; no, we won't forget..

People are indeed a dangerous specie...

For those whose brains have gone missing..

That's ok. We love you just the way you are...

I'll take that less bratty one, please..

Waitress: Soup or sand, sir?

Customer: I'll have two of those egg sand, please..

What will I Christmas of this year present?

Do I get it what it is?

Remember you Santa present for ask?

"I'm a lil bit cuntry, I'm a lil rock & roll.."

Bash it with your bare head,

you get hurt faster that way..

See? THIS is why we sent you to school!

Thanks but no thanks; I'm not into your nuts,

no matter how fragrant...

One hand coming up, a leg to follow,

all in the name of charity...

Ahah, a kosher bunny!

These pesky Peruvians are everywhere!

I'll share my fannie paper with your fannie..

Pecker hole pretzel, nothing could be more apt..

May I outside then?

Please slow down the stairs,

the handrails need catching up..

Hilman yang pandai berkata-kata

I enjoy talking to Hilman because he is not pelat and sometimes the words that come out from his mouth are something unexpected from a 3 year old child.

One day Hilman and Abah in the car.

Hilman  :  Kita nak pergi mana ni?

Abah    :  Stesyen minyak.

Hilman  :  Nak buat apa?

Abah   :  Isi minyaklah.

Hilman  : Kan kereta ni boleh jalan lagi, tak payahlah isi, jom pergi Giant lagi best.

Abah   :  Tapi minyak dah nak habis, nanti kereta tak boleh jalan.

Hilman  :  Hilman boleh tolak.

Abah   :  Hilman tak kuat, kereta Abah berat.

Hilman : Hilman ada Ultraman (pointing to his Ultraman toy figure)

Abah  : Hahahaha.. takpelah Abah isi minyak jugak

Hilman : Oklah, tapi Hilman nak coklat.

Hilman and YO!

Hilman  :  Wazzap yo!

Ibu       :  Apa tu?

Hilman  :  Hilman nak makan yo!

Ibu       :  Jom turun

Hilman  :  Let's go yo!

Ibu sambil menyuap Hilman makan.

Hilman  :  Sedap yo!

Ibu       :  Dahlah yo yo tu, menyampah ibu.

Hilman  : Ok yo!

Patience

I got this from another blogger friend of mine.  As I am not a patient person, this is also a reminder to me to stay calm and be positive all the time.

A man came to the Prophet, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon himraise his name, and asked what he needed to do to get to Paradise, so the Prophet told him: “Do not get angry.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

The man was an individual who would get angry quickly, so the Prophet told the man that he needed to do change his angry nature.  So changing oneself and one’s character is something achievable. 

The Prophet also said: “Whoever pretends to be patient (with a desire to be patient) God will give him patience.”  

This is recorded in Saheeh Al-Bukhari.  This means that although some people are born patient the rest of us can learn to be patient.

Interestingly in Western psychiatry and psychology they used to tell us to get it off our chest, don’t hold it in because if we did we would explode, so better to let it all out.

Later on they discovered that when people let it all out small blood vessels would burst in their brain because they were so angry.  They found that it was actually dangerous and potentially damaging to let it all out.  So now they say it is better not to let it all out.

The Prophet told us to try to be patient, so externally we should give that façade of being patient even when internally we are boiling.  And we do not try to be patient externally in order to deceive people; rather, we do so in order to develop patience.  If we are consistent in this then the external image of patience also becomes internal and as a result complete patience is achieved and is achievable as mentioned in the Hadeeth quoted above.

Have patience and may you be blessed today.

Dilemma

My eldest daughter Nuraina has been piling on so much weight for the past few months.

You know,she started off being such a skinny baby as she was close to be underweight we have been giving her a lot of multivitamins and minerals to make her go strong, chubby and healthy.  As she hit six months, we fed her appeton for babies on a daily basis, once she turned one we began to give her Scotts Emulsions and vitamin C and when she was down with fever she had lost so much weight making her look so skinny and fragile that we changed her milk into Weight Gain for 2 months. When she was in Year One she started to grow nice and proportionate and we were satisfied with her development.

There was this one day an acquittance commented that her son is the smallest in class and that she is worried, as he is a boy and he may get bullied when he goes to school later so I told her that I used to worry about my daughter's growth and I have been giving her loads of supplements and multivitamins to promote her growth.  She then commented she had a friend who used to be so small that she had been taking lots of supplements and now she has weight issues.  She said the after effect of the supplements takes many years later to get the results.  I didn't think much about it and just pushed the thought aside.

But NOW.....

I see her point, my daughter Nuraina has begun to show interest in food and she eats all the time. She enjoys eating, sometimes after taking lunch she will munch on biscuits and her stomach looks so round and protruded.  From a scrawny baby into a chubby girl, we now have problems finding clothes for her.  When she was younger she used to wear one size smaller than her age, now she wears 2 size bigger than her age.  She is 11 but she wears 13-14 clothes.  Just the other day, we bought a pair of baju kurung the largest in the kids section size 13 - 14, I was confident it could fit her because it looked big, sadly, she can't even bring the sarung to her waist, it got stuck at her thunder thighs and even the baju kurung we had problems to bring her hand out of the sleeves.

I am worried, I want her to not eating much but sometimes when I cook she will be the first I call to eat because it's nice looking at her enjoying the food I cooked as I felt all the efforts I have put in to prepare the meals have not gone to waste compared to her younger siblings who are basically needed to be forced to eat for every meal.  She even commented 'You want me to be kurus, but you also make me eat'.  Yalah tu Aina but most of the times I stop you from eating and indulging in cookies and other things kan?

This where the dilemma lies as I often stock up food in the house like biscuits, chocolate, ice-creams, fruits, wedges, nuggets and other tidbits to encourage the younger ones to eat as they are not rice-people.  The problem is that Kakak Aina will wallop what they are eating too.  On top of that when they could not finish the drinks or the food they consumed Kakak Aina will be summoned as not to let the food go to waste.  So how?

I hope this is just a phase and she will not continue to balloon up as the years go by.