Friends, are they?

I'm used to being misjudged. When I was younger people always labelled me as 'stuck up, show-off, braggart, that KL girl' when in actual fact they didn't bother to get to know me. I may appear 'sombong' but once you get to know me you'll realize I can be too friendly. If you know me, you'll see that I try to be optimistic about things, I don't like to worry about stuff and I seldom talk about things that make me depressed.

As I grow older, I believe I've matured in my thinking hence I try to carry myself in a way that will not portray me as the things that people used to call as it hurts. I begin to train myself to think positive, to be happy, to appreciate life as it is, to be thankful with what I have, not to give a damn with what people think or say about me but at times I collapse. It's difficult to see the bright of things all the time when people keep saying or thinking of ways just to annoy and irritate you. They just love to see you lose your temper so they can have more points just to badmouth you.

I tried not to lose my calm because once I lose it, that's it, friends we shall not be. I know it is not a good practice but it's difficult to be face to face with someone whom I try to be a friend but keeps talking bad things about you. I can take it but if you only have negative things to say about me, that's it man. You're just toxic and not worth to be called a friend.

Some people are just born to be unhappy about other people's happiness. They are easily irritated when a person laughs too much, smiles all the time, contented with what she has, seldom complains about her life. Excuse me, lady, my life is not a bed of roses that's for sure but I'm just thankful, why can't you be the same?

If I were to complain, there are million and one things to complain but what's the use? What good of complaining, it definitely will not solve the problem. Mind you, this is not just a person but a clan and they just love to gather and talk about other people and I know I'm being generalised here but the Malays majority just love to gather and gossip about people. They get other people to gang up with them. They just love to say or hear bad story about other people as this will make them feel superior. You know the attitude of 'I'm holier than thou'. They'll clap their hands when you fall, they'll be smiling from ear to ear when they managed to kill your spirit or enthusiasm. Again this is just a generalization, too bad I have them in my working environment.

Maybe I don't appear to be Malay enough, hence the dissatisfaction? Waallahualam.