Khairina my second daughter and my 3rd child is as gentle as a lamb. She's so gentle that she's easily bullied by people around her. Out of the 3 attending primary school, she's the one struggling with school work and the environment. She does not project any demeanor of being confident, she is very timid, introvert and afraid to ask question.
She had been lagging in her school work and more often than not her exercise books have comments of 'incomplete work', 'work not sent on time', 'kerja tak siap' and 'tak lengkap' and thus she often gets the shelling from me and I often blame her for being unfocused and dreamy in class and she denied all the accusations made. This happened last year and this year she has promised that things will change and that she will change for the better.
However on the first day of school she sat at the back row of the classroom because she had wondered around the school and forgotten to book a seat. I was so pissed that her being unfocused and dreamy resurface. Three weeks after, when the kids were given homework, I got even madder when I saw that her books were still not up to date, her work was messy and there's incomplete work remark in her books. I told her to borrow a book from a friend, she said nobody wanted to lend her their book and I went 'don't you have any friend?' Nabil heard this and went 'she's always alone Ibu, she eats alone in the canteen and she walks around the school after that all by herself.'
I then began to realize that she's never invited to any birthday parties, It wasn't an issue then because she's always following Kakak Aina (the miss popular) to parties so I didn't think much of it, but invitation from her friends, she has none. She's a real loner, she does not make any effort to make friends and whenever I ask her 'don't you have friends?' her answer is always yes but no one is her good friend as she finds waiting for them to go to the canteen and finishing eating then only walking together, as cumbersome. She's happy when she's with her siblings you can see her being bubbly and active, running around and coming out with new ideas. That's why I was caught of guard when Nabil told me she's a loner.
Ok back to the issue, I told her since nobody wants to lend you their book, next time can you please please please pay more attention in class, stop being dreamy because this is class work I cannot help you because I don't know what the teacher has written on the board, and she went 'Ibu I always pay attention in class, I copy slowly because I cannot see what is written on the board.' You mean to say, you can't see? Gosh! I could feel my blood draining. All this while you were not able to finish your work on time because you cant see? Husband did the test and true enough she failed the 4m range test. Nooo..... Oh Nina you have to wear spectacles? I'm not ready for this darling, you are to young to wear glasses.
We took her to the opticians the next day and turned out her eyesights were pretty bad her left eye the reading was 100 and her right eye 225. After that incident, I could not help but to feel bad for accusing her of being dreamy and unfocused. While waiting for the spectacles to be ready we talked to her teacher to let her sit in front. It has been two weeks now and so far she's doing fine with her school work.
However tonight something sad happened. At around 9 pm I went all around looking for Khairina, she was not with Dhaniyah, not in the maid's room, neither was she in my mom's. I was calling out her name when I suddenly I heard a soft cry of 'I am here Ibu'. I was so shocked she was in her room, the door was ajar but I didn't bother to check it then because the light and fan were switched off. I went in, switch on the fan and the light and there she was lying on the bed with tears streaming down her cheeks.
I sat on the bed and asked her what went wrong, and she went 'I'm just sad' and I asked her 'why?'. And she went 'nothing' I tried to probe but she kept on saying 'nothing' when I finally said 'when you are sad, I am sad too, I love you too much that I don't want you to be sad.' That got her more teary eyed and she went 'not many people love me Ibu, I don't have friends, the teachers don't really pay much attention to me and even my brothers and sisters don't love me that much,'. Oh Khairina, I was shocked to hear her say that and I became sad too 'Khairina no matter what, Ibu and Abah love you unconditionally, your siblings love you too, it is just that they have a weird way of showing it, so it does not matter if you don't have that many friends, what's important is that you love yourself and always work hard to improve yourself, never let other people put you down and please please remember that Ibu loves you soooooo much and only want the best for you.'
She got better and went to sleep. Looking at her sleeping, breathing evenly, looking calm and angelic made me even sadder.
Sigh! I am not sure whether I have handled it well but I feel bad. Bad for her to feel this way, for her not having friends and for her to have such low self-esteem. I don't really know how to tackle this because I am a person who depends on her friends, I will be lost without them, I need friends and I have been blessed with wonderful friends around me. So having to handle this situation is actually out of my league! Help!
P/S - After the incident, she hugged me crying again and she said 'I did try Ibu, I tried to make friends but I don't think my friends like me that much, I'm just not important'. 'Oh baby you are really special and important to me, if they don't like you they are not worthy as your friends, they are other people out there who will be worthy of your friendship, it's just that the time has not come yet.'
Gosh! She's only 7+ and already facing this kind of problem, I really pity you Khairina and I hope things will be better for you, stop trying so hard, because you end up hurting yourself, I have faith that things will get better, I always believe that good things happen to those who wait, be patient my dear!
.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hilman buat magic
This is just gonna be a short post but I just want to get it jotted down before I forget. Yesterday when we were in KFC attending to a birthday party, I saw 4 very cute water bottles and I decided to buy 3. Hilman was so happy with his. We got home, gave the bottle a rinse and then filled it with water for him to sip. So, he has been using it since every time he needs to quench his thirst.
So after dinner today, I was drinking my water from the cup when he said he want some,
Ibu : Why are you drinking in my cup?
Hilman : Because I am thirsty.
Ibu : What happen to your water bottle?
Hilman : Oh I dunno.
Ibu : Dunno? Go and look for it.
Hilman : I dunno. Dah hilang dah.
Ibu : Cannot be. Go and look for it.
Hilman : Yesssssss dah hilang dah, tadi ada pastu Hilman buat magic (claps his hands) so now dah hilang dah. Terror kan Hilman buat magic?
Ibu : Hmmmm..... (pandailah ko Hilman, sebab malas nak cari kan?)
So after dinner today, I was drinking my water from the cup when he said he want some,
Ibu : Why are you drinking in my cup?
Hilman : Because I am thirsty.
Ibu : What happen to your water bottle?
Hilman : Oh I dunno.
Ibu : Dunno? Go and look for it.
Hilman : I dunno. Dah hilang dah.
Ibu : Cannot be. Go and look for it.
Hilman : Yesssssss dah hilang dah, tadi ada pastu Hilman buat magic (claps his hands) so now dah hilang dah. Terror kan Hilman buat magic?
Ibu : Hmmmm..... (pandailah ko Hilman, sebab malas nak cari kan?)
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I got this from Nadia-Is-Cute
I got this from a friend who got this from her sister. I find it funny yet so true that I feel that I should share it as well.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Having Children is A Blessing
You know like when you go to a function of your hubby's friend and you don't know anyone there and you are not bothered to make friends, you can always entertain your kids, cater to their needs and you will not look out of place or a total loser in fact you are seen as a loving and such caring mother.
Or when you take your younger kids for check-ups and again you are just too lazy to strike a conversation with other patients you can always play with your children, sing to them and you are not labeled as someone who has just lost her mind or a 'weirdo' in fact you are fun to look at and people will see you as being very creative and fun-loving mother to your children.
Or you can watch your kids playing for hours and you are not seen as someone who are lost in outer space and in fact people will see you of having such a loving gaze towards your kids when in actual fact you are thinking of something else, work, housework, etc.
Or the time when you are too lazy to go anywhere you can always come out with an excuse of having to take care of your kids well-being and it is always a valid enough reason of you to just chill at home with your children.
Or at the time when you are already bored in a gathering or a function, and your husband is not ready to leave yet, you can always come up with a reason that the kids are restless, tired, etc and that is reason enough for your husband to get going.
Or when you don't really feel like talking to your husband, mom, mother-in-law, the kids can always be the messenger to get your message across.
And it's always a good time to have an ice-cream outing when you have kids.
Yeah these are some of the perks of having children when you are just content with yourself and not putting any effort to make friends. Yay to us mothers!
Or when you take your younger kids for check-ups and again you are just too lazy to strike a conversation with other patients you can always play with your children, sing to them and you are not labeled as someone who has just lost her mind or a 'weirdo' in fact you are fun to look at and people will see you as being very creative and fun-loving mother to your children.
Or you can watch your kids playing for hours and you are not seen as someone who are lost in outer space and in fact people will see you of having such a loving gaze towards your kids when in actual fact you are thinking of something else, work, housework, etc.
Or the time when you are too lazy to go anywhere you can always come out with an excuse of having to take care of your kids well-being and it is always a valid enough reason of you to just chill at home with your children.
Or at the time when you are already bored in a gathering or a function, and your husband is not ready to leave yet, you can always come up with a reason that the kids are restless, tired, etc and that is reason enough for your husband to get going.
Or when you don't really feel like talking to your husband, mom, mother-in-law, the kids can always be the messenger to get your message across.
And it's always a good time to have an ice-cream outing when you have kids.
Yeah these are some of the perks of having children when you are just content with yourself and not putting any effort to make friends. Yay to us mothers!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
A Plea to All Men Out There
I was just reading a blog of a good friend of mine and the topic is on marital issue and how men tend to easily forget his responsibility when he is involved with another woman. It's not something new we have heard it overtimes on how men cheated on his wife and vice versa, but this issue never fails to make people get angry easily, and as woman we do feel for the wife. The fact that some men who go astray are not financially sound, tends to make your blood boils as these men who are still dependant on the wife to settle some of utility bills, have the heart to find another. Like a friend said 'ko syok2 sorang and ko expect your wife to understand that this is takdir' is a total bullshit. I am sorry,there's no nice word to describe what you have done.
Funny enough when I talked this issue with some men, they could highlight it 'maybe it was a small mistake' or 'dah nak jadi bukan dicari' and they would further broach the topic by saying like 'Inilah masalah perempuan kesalahan kecil suami dia, dia dah tak ingat dah semua benda baik yang suami dia dah buat'. Kesalahan kecil? Have a fling for another woman is a MAJOR mistakes in a marriage, tak kiralah suka-suka ke or takde benda ke, but it is definitely not kesalahan kecil. It is a MAJOR no-no ok? This thing which you think happens to be nothing can get real messy, many hearts will be broken definitely not yours but the family the wife and the kids. Many people will get hurt, her side of the family and even your side of the family, the one that is takde apa2 and syok is you yourself, you selfish brat! So please don't label it as a small mistake although you have repent, the hurt is just too much, the wound is too deep even time may not fully healed the injury that you have done.
So my plea to all men out there
1. instead of using your free time -imagining other things that involve sex can you please use your time wisely on how to earn extra money for the family so you can lead a better life for example.
2. so if you are filthy rich - can you please think on how to raise your kids to be manusia yang berguna kepada agama, bangsa dan negara. Nurturing it's not suppose to be one sided- it's not the mother's job per se but both the parents.
3. and if you are not - instead of watching tv and reading newspaper and thinking of the unthinkable can you please make a point to help your wife around the house.
4. and can you please think on how to be a good or a better husband/father to your wife and kids. Only then you would want to achieve a better quality life for your family and I believe if you are this type of husband/father you will have no time to think about other women and go astray.
Can you do that please?
Funny enough when I talked this issue with some men, they could highlight it 'maybe it was a small mistake' or 'dah nak jadi bukan dicari' and they would further broach the topic by saying like 'Inilah masalah perempuan kesalahan kecil suami dia, dia dah tak ingat dah semua benda baik yang suami dia dah buat'. Kesalahan kecil? Have a fling for another woman is a MAJOR mistakes in a marriage, tak kiralah suka-suka ke or takde benda ke, but it is definitely not kesalahan kecil. It is a MAJOR no-no ok? This thing which you think happens to be nothing can get real messy, many hearts will be broken definitely not yours but the family the wife and the kids. Many people will get hurt, her side of the family and even your side of the family, the one that is takde apa2 and syok is you yourself, you selfish brat! So please don't label it as a small mistake although you have repent, the hurt is just too much, the wound is too deep even time may not fully healed the injury that you have done.
So my plea to all men out there
1. instead of using your free time -imagining other things that involve sex can you please use your time wisely on how to earn extra money for the family so you can lead a better life for example.
2. so if you are filthy rich - can you please think on how to raise your kids to be manusia yang berguna kepada agama, bangsa dan negara. Nurturing it's not suppose to be one sided- it's not the mother's job per se but both the parents.
3. and if you are not - instead of watching tv and reading newspaper and thinking of the unthinkable can you please make a point to help your wife around the house.
4. and can you please think on how to be a good or a better husband/father to your wife and kids. Only then you would want to achieve a better quality life for your family and I believe if you are this type of husband/father you will have no time to think about other women and go astray.
Can you do that please?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Satu Dua Tiga Lekuk
I am in the process of resurrecting my blog, wish me luck! (LOL!). Anyway, let's start with a short and sweet entry of Dhaniyah and her Bedtime Stories.
One night while putting Dhaniyah to bed, she requested that I tell her bedtime stories. I was already bored with the selection that we have wait more like I was bored with the stories that she has chosen because I ended up reading the same 2 stories over and over again, it's always either the Ugly Duckling or When Johnny Comes Marching Home. So this one night, I decided to tell a story that I grew up hearing it over times 'Sang Kancil dan Buaya' as this time the story is told orally as I had no book to refer to,therefore, basically the story is being watered down, knowing that I will finish the story within minute, I decided to inject some questions as I go along narrating this piece. And so I went.....
Pada zaman dahulu, di dalam hutan tinggal seekor kancil yang bijaksana ....
Ibu : Dhaniyah tau tak kancil tu apa?
Dhaniyah : Tahu. Teacher Niyah ada satu.
Ibu : Hah? Biar betul? Kancil?
Dhaniyah : Ya. Tapi kancil dia tak duduk kat hutan, boleh ke kancil duduk kat hutan?
Ibu : Kancil duduk kat hutanlah Niyah, kancil tu animal?
Dhaniyah : Bukan. Kancil tu keretalah Ibu. Teacher Niyah park kancil dia kat school Niyah.
Ibu : hahahahaha.....
Ok after explaining to her what type of animal kancil is and after she went ooooooooo.....aaaaaaaa, I continued the story so in between I asked her some more questions and she kind of followed it well so nothing funny happened there, towards the end of the story when the sang kancil went...
Ibu : Wahai buaya2 aku bawa perutusan dari Sultan Sulaiman untuk mengira kamu semua supaya aku dapat memberi penghormatan kepada kamu haiwan yang hebat ni. (note: not the real storyline, I kind of forget how the story goes but who cares?) Jadi silalah buat one straight line supaya boleh aku kira kamu semua. So after the crocodiles have line up in one straight line the kancil jumped on each of them reciting 'satu dua tiga lekuk, jantan betina aku ketuk' knocking each of their head. (Ibu did some action of 'luku'(knocking) kepala Niyah and she started to giggle she finds the action to be ticklish, hmmm... I wonder why). So the kancil managed to reach the other side of the river, faced the crocodiles and laughing out loud (LOL?) to the crocodiles 'You guys are being fooled, all I wanted to do is to cross this river without being eaten, Sultan Sulaiman tidak memperutuskan apa2 kepadaku kamu semua sudah kena tipu HA HA HA. Maka kancil tu dengan happynya makan semua buah yang ranum2 di dalam hutan tersebut. The end.
Ibu : Niyah faham tak cerita ni? Niyah suka tak?
Niyah : Niyah faham, nak jadi bijak kena pandai tipu ye Ibu.
Ibu : ???????????????
Alright Dhaniyah from tomorrow night onwards we stick to the usual bedtime stories okay, sayang.
One night while putting Dhaniyah to bed, she requested that I tell her bedtime stories. I was already bored with the selection that we have wait more like I was bored with the stories that she has chosen because I ended up reading the same 2 stories over and over again, it's always either the Ugly Duckling or When Johnny Comes Marching Home. So this one night, I decided to tell a story that I grew up hearing it over times 'Sang Kancil dan Buaya' as this time the story is told orally as I had no book to refer to,therefore, basically the story is being watered down, knowing that I will finish the story within minute, I decided to inject some questions as I go along narrating this piece. And so I went.....
Pada zaman dahulu, di dalam hutan tinggal seekor kancil yang bijaksana ....
Ibu : Dhaniyah tau tak kancil tu apa?
Dhaniyah : Tahu. Teacher Niyah ada satu.
Ibu : Hah? Biar betul? Kancil?
Dhaniyah : Ya. Tapi kancil dia tak duduk kat hutan, boleh ke kancil duduk kat hutan?
Ibu : Kancil duduk kat hutanlah Niyah, kancil tu animal?
Dhaniyah : Bukan. Kancil tu keretalah Ibu. Teacher Niyah park kancil dia kat school Niyah.
Ibu : hahahahaha.....
Ok after explaining to her what type of animal kancil is and after she went ooooooooo.....aaaaaaaa, I continued the story so in between I asked her some more questions and she kind of followed it well so nothing funny happened there, towards the end of the story when the sang kancil went...
Ibu : Wahai buaya2 aku bawa perutusan dari Sultan Sulaiman untuk mengira kamu semua supaya aku dapat memberi penghormatan kepada kamu haiwan yang hebat ni. (note: not the real storyline, I kind of forget how the story goes but who cares?) Jadi silalah buat one straight line supaya boleh aku kira kamu semua. So after the crocodiles have line up in one straight line the kancil jumped on each of them reciting 'satu dua tiga lekuk, jantan betina aku ketuk' knocking each of their head. (Ibu did some action of 'luku'(knocking) kepala Niyah and she started to giggle she finds the action to be ticklish, hmmm... I wonder why). So the kancil managed to reach the other side of the river, faced the crocodiles and laughing out loud (LOL?) to the crocodiles 'You guys are being fooled, all I wanted to do is to cross this river without being eaten, Sultan Sulaiman tidak memperutuskan apa2 kepadaku kamu semua sudah kena tipu HA HA HA. Maka kancil tu dengan happynya makan semua buah yang ranum2 di dalam hutan tersebut. The end.
Ibu : Niyah faham tak cerita ni? Niyah suka tak?
Niyah : Niyah faham, nak jadi bijak kena pandai tipu ye Ibu.
Ibu : ???????????????
Alright Dhaniyah from tomorrow night onwards we stick to the usual bedtime stories okay, sayang.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
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